One reason I do Zen

I used to take up much of my mind with questions as to my own sincerity and authenticity.  When I got some vague notion where I was in the world, and where I wasn't in the world, I realized that it was better to be alive in the world, albeit with some risk of being sincerely insincere, rather than to dwell in the être-pour-soi, as per the waiter who pretends being a waiter, who plays at being a waiter in Sartre's L'Être et le Néant.

And then I realized there was such a thing as statements - and those modes of behavior that may be neither true nor false, but performative.

All of this was born of that feeling out of place in the world, in this body in which I animate.


I got better doing this Zen stuff.