Kyle, congrats on the marriage again...but...I didn't find your post here confusing at all, but there is the possibility that I've entirely misunderstood it.
It does remind me, regardless of my experiences. As I reflect on the past week, I realize that a couple of "big questions" got answered in my own mind this week. I also observed a rather ordinary week in which I appreciated my eight year old son - holy crap! - he's eight already. I once cradled him in my arms.
And I think about that.
One's awareness, one's experience, consciousness is very precious. Your attention is the most precious thing you can give another person, it is the most genuine gift. But in order to give it you've got to be in harmony with that person and with yourself.
Thing is, though, the way to do that right now is to get that there's nothing fundamentally wrong with you or them. Things are exactly as they should be. There is no "shadow" to dispel.