Also, contrast with 機会 (きかい (kikai)) (n) meaning chance, opportunity.
Without going into details, I have been afforded an excellent opportunity for 危機修行 (ききしゅうぎょう (kikishuugyou))- crisis practice.
This is of course, simply another way of looking at 無 (MU). When there is "no eye no ear no nose no body no mind," there is, as the Heart Sutra points out, no fear.
This is not some theoretical saying, or, for the advanced student, a prayer or hope. It is a reality. Even in the tensest of situations, with practice, we are able to see things as they are; even if stressed, we can act from the 丹田 (たんでん; tanden), the place where we focus energy during practice. Shunryu Suzuki talked about "mind weeds" in his book "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind," and for the first couple of years when I had been involved in Zen practice, I was always confused by what he wrote about using distractions to nourish and deepen practice. But I know what he meant a few years later, and though the first thoughts and sensations of such situations are always unpleasant (that First Noble Truth again), I have found that the 気 (き(ki)) of the stressful situations can, from a centered place, be re-directed to make things better. This is an incalculable benefit from Zen practice; I don't know how other folks do this except in real life-or-death situations involving the 9 year old girl that lifts a car up to get her mother out from under it kind of thing.
That energy is there, and even in "everyday" crisis situations, the energy is present and available to be used.
I am confident, despite being amidst my own poisons, and the dance of karma that things will turn out right. I've done 危機修行 before.
There may or may not be significant blogging here for the next few days, but, within the degree that I can write about my situation, I will, after the dust clears.