Saturday, August 29, 2009

I get ideas...

As I noted below, last Sunday I had the chance to visit Minsk World, a "military theme park."

While I get an aircraft carrier being open to visitors to build pride in the folks who put their lives on the line for the country, I still can't get over the schmaltziness of Minsk World.

I indeed respect the folks in the military who, despite the imperfection of American foreign policy vow to actually defend us with their lives.

But then again, I am a sucker for scheming a good practical joke, so please military folks, don't be offended by the following.

The tawdry schmaltz of Minsk World could only be exceeded in the United States in one place.

Las Vegas.

They've got a fake pyramid casino there.

They've got a fake Venice casino there.

They've even got a fake Eiffel Tower.

It occurred to some of my engineer friends (one of whom is a veteran) and myself that the one way we could beat Minsk world would be to locatre an aircraft carrier on The Strip and turn it into a casino.

But not just any aircraft carrier would do.

We would need the USS John F. Kennedy.

The USS John F. Kennedy weighs somewhere between 60,000 and 82000 tons, and is about as long as the Empire State building is tall, roughly, and about 19 stories tall.

It would be very difficult to get the USS. John F. Kennedy located on The Strip.

Here are the known alternatives:

  1. Build a new aircraft carrier looking like the John F. Kennedy on The Strip.


    • You avoid doing the other alternatives.

    • It fits right in with the rest of everything else in Vegas being fake

    • It probably won't be bulit to Milspec.


    • It's cheating.

    • It gets expensive if you want realism.

    • The builder of the original probably can't do it (since they're Northrup Grumman Newport News shipbuilders, based in Virginia.

  2. You can disassemble the JFK, and reconstruct it on The Strip.

    • You use the real thing.

    • You avoid transporting the JFK in once piece to Vegas.


    • Since the JFK is welded and riveted, you have to unweld and unrivet it to get it there.

      That almost certainly will compromise the structural integrity of the ship.

  3. You can dredge the Colorado River from its mouth in or near Baja, Mexico, to Lake Mead, and then find some fantastic way to get it from Lake Mead to The Strip.

  4. Pros:

    • It's the sort of thing we can complain about when speaking about Yankee imperialism.

    • It is a great public works project, rivaling the Panama Canal.


    • Well, isn't there a dam in the way? I thought there might be one there.

    • It costs lots of money to dredge several hundred miles of a river to make it deep enough and navigable enough for an aircraft carrier.

    • OK, suppose I can get it to Lake Mead, now how do I get it to The Strip?

More to come...

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